I always try to avoid it somehow, if not with the necessary parts of family life then with music or TV.
I don't know what it says about me that I can't just be. I can't just sit in silence and breath without desperately wanting to fill that space with something...anything!
I was recently in a situation, however, where I couldn't fill that space with anything. No internet, no person to talk to, nothing to read, no phone, no music, no TV, nothing. So there I was, just with my thoughts. And even though I didn't want to be there, I found it surprisingly freeing.
Being forced to listen to nothing but your own breathing. To look at nothing but the trees outside. To feel nothing but your own cloths against your skin.
And with passing moment you feel more calm. With each breath, you release some part of yourself that needed to do something.
Then you start to listen to yourself. Your center. And you realize that it is in moments like these that you can really hear yourself. Your pain, your joy, your regrets, your hopes, your own truth.
So even though it is not January, I would like to make a resolution for the rest of the year. I would like to find pockets of silence in my life and instead of fearing those pockets, I would like to embrace them.
Revel in them.
And maybe, just maybe, even enjoy them.