It's been way too long since I've posted. We've been traveling so much, which although hard at times has been so wonderful. Two trips with the kids to visit my in-laws and also to visit my brother and other friends and one trip for two-and-a-half days with just my husband and another couple for a weekend of champagne and delicious food.
It's been so great not having to worry about checking my e-mails for legal work. I've been free to enjoy the time with my kids, husband, family and friends. Simply wonderful.
I've been thinking a lot about the memoir thing. I love telling stories, there's no question about that, but I've realized that I'm way too nervous about revealing my and my family's private matters and history. There are so many elements of it that make me uncomfortable that I finally realized that it's just not doable right now. I have enough family drama (immediate and extended family) without adding the element of "did you see what she said about us?" No matter how I write it, there will be someone either insulted or hurt and I just don't want to do that. Why should I? There are other ways to express my creativity. Also, I'm so scared of revealing my self. I published one short story and this weird guy has e-mailed me several times over the span of a year. I've ignored all the e-mails but it makes me nervous that he has my e-mail and that he's seen my profile picture on Facebook. I changed the profile picture privacy thing but I'm not sure if you can block your profile picture. That's just one guy. I can't imagine what people in the public eye have to deal with when they put their work and themselves out there for any crazy to comment on. Yikes!
But I'm still determined to do fun and creative things. For now, I'm LOVING spending the summer with my kids, husband and friends. We're off to the community pool tomorrow! :)
I know exactly what you mean about revealing yourself. I have a separate blog that I created just to talk about my battle with PPD. And still I haven't had the nerve to post. I guess I feel like once it's out there it's real, in another sense. Does that even make sense??
ReplyDeleteYou're right about being creative in other ways. And you could still write. You don't have to tell your personal story until you're ready...or ever! I would personally love to see more of your paintings! ;)
Mel - You're reading my mind. Me too...about the painting. :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, it might help to talk about your battle with PPD. There are so many women that struggle with it too and sharing it might help you deal with your own struggles.
As long as you are following your instincts and your heart you are doing the right thing. You'll find a way to express yourself and someday you may find it's the right time to tell your story.
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